DrunkenWriter (rustyimmelman) wrote,

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Lucky Us

Ok. So I may have an ex-girlfriend who tricked me into loving her before she broke my heart. And, yeah, I lost my job just in time for the holidays. And, of course, I'm completely broke just in time for Christmikah. Oh, and sure, I got more random wierdo fuckfaces commenting anonymously on my fucking LJ than a monkey has fleas (and none of them are very nice comments). AND I got fucked over for New Year's (my least favorite holiday in the world, second only to Christmas)... and my grandma isn't doing so well... and... Ok, so a lot of shit (Including being broke like a busted-ass hooker trying to bum a cigarette from a matchstick), BUT at least we're (and I mean "we're" as in, "hopefully, if you're reading this entry, then you are among this number") NOT in the hospital for Christmas.
          I have a friend whose brain is bleeding (not concussed, which is what makes it troubling to me), and she'll be spending the New Year in a hospital bed. I almost bailed on the family Christmas to go be with this person, but this will probably be the last family Christmas (all kinds of talk circulating about my grandma) and I know that I have to be there.
          And, simmering like an undercurrent of spiteful disappointment beneath all of this is the fact that I still miss my ex-girlfriend. I did well by her, though, and have managed to erase everything she ever gave and/or sent me, obliterating her phone number both physically and mentally. I feel terrible though, for going into the New Year/Christmas Season with vengeful (iutterly bitter, vengeful) thoughts/feelings in my heart. Bottom line? You know you're in a bad way about a chick you thought you knew when you toast to the following:

Me: Hey, Gary: do we know anyone in Portland?
Gary: No... oh... um... [pause of thinking]... Yeah! Yeah: we know [2 people whom we know].
Me: Ok. Well, they're acceptable losses. So, then, cheers! [Clink!] Cheers to bird flu hitting Portland first. [bloth take a swig] And cheers to my ex-girlfriend begging me to move in with me here. [More siwggage]. And cheers! Cheers to me telling her that she's fucked. [sad, angry swig].
Gary [as if to the air]: Yeah.
Me: Well, fuck it. At least I'm not bitter.

Lol. Well, I could go on for days. But I won't. Merry Christmikkah, everybody: be grateful and careful and take nothing for granted.

Peace on earth, goodwill toward man (and the chicks, too).
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I am so sorry sweetie... :hugs: